By Jeanine Austin, Ph.D.

The other day I bumped into a quote by John Fitzgerald Kennedy that stopped me in my tracks. With my mouth agape, I read, “Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.” For some reason, this quote by JFK had eluded me until now. Perhaps only now, in my own personal development would I be impacted in such a direct way by the honesty and succinct nature of this quote. I began to wonder, when we conform, how much of our freedom and our personal growth do we forgo? What is the price that we pay by consciously or unconsciously conforming, if any? Ken Wilber, renowned prolific writer and consciousness map maker discusses in his Kosmic Consciousness CD-set that few people grow emotionally, intellectually and spiritually from their mid-twenties to their fifties. One has to wonder if this is because we are all busy chasing the trappings of conformity; possibly without even realizing it! (more…)

By Mitchell Milch, LCSW

Click here to contact Mitchell and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Have you ever noticed that we live in an era when it has become fashionable to self-righteously defend the right to behave like vending machines?    Now, I imagine that many of you reading this article might take instantaneous exception to anybody who treated you like a vending machine or accused you of regarding someone else as nothing more than an extension of your wishes for immediate gratification.  Yet, there are times when we and our loved ones invoke unwritten, unspoken agreements that if one picks a fight, the other when provoked will morph into a vending machine.  Once we pay with a dollar’s worth of sarcasm, emotional withdrawal or threats and correctly depress the other person’s “hot button” the response we want(whether or not we are aware of desiring it or not) drops down, bounces out of the retrieval slot and hits us right between the eyes.  And to add insult to injury we, who are having our buttons pushed and being degraded wind up making the degradation a reality by throwing respect and consideration out the window and returning the “vending machine favor.”   I know. This is not a very flattering mirror to run and stand in front of and ask:  “How do I look?”  Still, we all with varying degrees of frequency behave this way.     (more…)

By Mitchell Milch, LCSW

Click here to contact Mitchell and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Here you come with your signature limp and stifled grimace of pain.  Your stark look of disappointment suggests that ice, anti-inflammatory drugs and electro stimulation therapy have collectively done little to alleviate your demoralizing leg pains.  Your doctor, the reluctant physician, knows what’s coming next and how he would like to respond. However, fidelity to his Hippocratic Oath will not permit a surrender to the impulse to run and hide underneath his desk.   The first imploring words out of your mouth are: “Doc, I’ve been training for six months to run/bike/swim/ a PR in this upcoming race.  I’m soooooooo close to reaching my goal.  I can’t stop training now. You’ve gotta help me.” (more…)