By: Sam Schaperow, MSMFT, LMFT

Because getting a divorce will end a marriage, but not a family, some divorcing couples with children are opting for couple therapy. Often one spouse is interested in keeping the marriage together, while the other has a sliver of hope for the marriage, but both want to enhance the quality of communication for the sake of the children after the divorce. One of the biggest challenges with such couples comes from the level of anger stemming from months, years, or decades of dissonance. Often one or both spouses come in expecting the therapist to fix or show measurable progress within a matter of several sessions. The reality is that it takes time for trust to develop amongst the three people in the room, and only when trust is there can the most significant progress be made. This leads to the question of what can you request and do to increase the odds that you will either help the marriage or help the communication for the child(ren). Read the rest of this entry »

By: Debra L. Kaplan, MA, LAC, LISAC

A glance at many magazines today will offer practical advice and “how to” strategies for the pursuit of the man or woman of our dreams. Let’s face it—sexy tag lines and catchy subtitles make for good print copy but do little for building healthy and sound relationships. Projecting our wants, expectations or intentions onto our partners-to-be only serves to foreshadow the inevitable relational demise. It is as if we build in our own obsolescence from the very start. Read the rest of this entry »

By: Debra L. Kaplan, MA, LAC, LISAC

Not too long ago, a client who I was treating for prescription drug abuse, looked at me and said, “It’s my desperate need to silence my feelings that drives me to want to use.” She went on to describe what it felt like to live in her skin. “It’s as if the people in my life are at the controls of this rollercoaster called my life and I’m trapped and I can’t get off. I like or hate the ride based on how I feel about them at that moment; in my mind you’re either with me or against me. But I can’t fire them from the controls!” Read the rest of this entry »

By: Justin Tobin LCSW

A lot of clients come to my office saying, “I need your help! I need you to get rid of my anxiety!” I explain that I cannot get rid of anxiety or that even if I could, it would be quite unethical for me to do so. Our body needs the ‘fight/flight response’ in order to participate in healthy daily functioning. That is, if someone did not have any anxiety or could not recognize the symptoms of anxiety, then they would never know not to walk down an alley at 4am by themselves, get too close to a barking dog, or put themselves in any other type of harmful situation. The truth is we all need our anxiety. We just don’t want anxiety that we can’t control and we want to be able to control the anxiety within us. Read the rest of this entry »

By: Dr. Linda Sapadin

If someone gave you a magic pill to calm your fears, (I’m talking real magic here, not a pill from the pharmacy), how would you live your life? If you weren’t so careful and didn’t play it so safe, what would you do? What would you say? Where would you travel? What would delight you? Who would you be? Read the rest of this entry »

By Jeanine Austin, Ph.D.

The other day I was in my car and listening to a wonderful oldie by the Lovin’ Spoonful. I think they captured what the decision making process is all about in their song “Did You Ever Have to Make up Your Mind.”

“Did you ever have to make up your mind?
Pick up on one and leave the other behind?
It’s not often easy and not often kind,
Did you ever have to make up your mind?” Read the rest of this entry »

By: Lisa Brookes Kift, M.A.

Adult anxiety has many faces, manifestations and levels. The anxiety disorder I’ve had the most contact with in my experience as a therapist is Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and from here on when I speak of “anxiety” I will be referring to this. I work from a family of origin perspective, in that, I believe that people’s emotional and/or psychological distress as adults can partially be the result of problematic core beliefs developed in early childhood. A primary hallmark of GAD is pervasive worry. “Fear of the fear” is how some of my clients have described the feeling. If I look back far enough in a client’s history I’ve typically found a childhood experience laced with chaos, high expectations and/or a highly anxious parent. Read the rest of this entry »

By: Jennifer B. Baxt, LMHC, LMFT

There may come a time in your life when you need counseling. You may need marriage counseling, family counseling, grief counseling, or some other type of therapy. Getting counseling, however, does require your time, and you simply may not have time to literally go to a counselor’s office. Online counseling may be the answer for you – but it may not be enough. Read the rest of this entry »

By: Kent Toussaint, MA MFT

Click here to contact Kent and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Many parents don’t really know what independent study or home school is. Others see it as a sign of failure. It doesn’t have to be that way. For some teens, home school can be a great alternative to traditional high school.

What is “home school?” Do I have to stay home all day and teach my teenager trigonometry?

That is one option… but probably not a particularly fun one for either of you. There are several independent study schools to choose from; some charter and others private. They will work with you to create a curriculum that best suits your teenager’s needs towards graduation and a good education. Read the rest of this entry »

By: Sam Schaperow, MSMFT, LMFT

There are many ways that people can decrease work stress. One can meditate, eat something delicious during breaks, do daily yoga, get counseled (expert feedback on how to do things differently) on how to do their job differently, have a backup plan if they are stressed out about the possibility of being laid off, etc. But that deep process of psychotherapy, which still has some stigma about being just for the mentally ill, how useful can it be? This article answers this question from the perspective of an actual psychotherapist with years of experience treating actual clients for work stress. Read the rest of this entry »